Counting on - Where it all started

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It's been what? 4 years since my very first post on here! So much has happened in the past few years, I've had as many lessons as I have experiences! There's so much to write!

It was my first wedding anniversary about this time last month, and reminiscing made me remember the journey to this place and things I wished I had done differently, which in posts to follow I'll share about in the most vulnerable but relatable way.


So, I had just gone through and gotten to the end of the roughest relationship of my entire life, and it marked the beginning of a life of revelation of God through the Holyspirit - maybe the new birth experience for me that I had always craved (that I'm just realising what it probably was), a whole new life - perspective, wisdom, understanding; wholly dependent on God.

Now, this is not to say that I was consistent (because, natural man) but in the years that followed this incident, I can wholeheartedly say I experienced my best years from this point (which made me wonder how I'd done life without total dependence on God).


I journaled a lot through this season, but in this series, I'll share from the "dear future husband" part of my Journaling.

I wrote about this very few times because I wasn't really excited about marriage anymore, but I wanted to because I desired it. My attitude towards it was just a little off and I was trying to fix up.

Here's the first ever entry;


"Dear Future Husband,

A part of you was taken to form me, I was made from you. You called me and named me. 

You came out from your father's house and brought me to you, that we may live as one. Together we are naked, in every way, and not an iota of shame is in sight! (Adaptedfrom Genesis 2:21-25).

Yes, as God will help us, we will be exponentially better together.

As I've been thrown back against the wall to wait for you, I will not be in a hurry to find you. I know that God is doing a work in you and preparing you for me. So, I will busy myself in God's divine purpose, that He may work in me as well so that I may be prepared for your awesomeness, just as you are prepared for mine.

I will wait for you love, and pray for you as much as I can. I'm still very hurt now, and I'll admit I'm not eager to meet you right now but I will be better soon. God is doing a work in me and I trust Him to lead me, strengthen my heart and spirit for me and for you. I will not give you too much of a heartache, surely not more than you can handle. I pray that you are praying for me...I kinda know that you are, I sure need it for these times.

I love you sweetness. I can't wait to meet you. I can't wait till you reignite that spark I've lost over the years investing in your 'look-alikes'.

I'm patiently waiting for you now, and busy working on myself as well. I don't entirely know what to do to prepare but I know who is leading me, us, so I will be alright.

I'll write you soon. God bless you for me darling! ❤

Love,

Yours"


I had come to terms with what had happened, taken responsibility and without closure decided to actually now allow God work (seeing as He won't go against me to). And He did. He actually did.

This was the point healing and restoration began.

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