#musings

It can be a bit challenging to find someone that doesn’t want something from you when they learn how you are, so, it just feels easier (instinctive) to give what you can so that they don’t ask you for what you can’t give - but that doesn’t halt it now, does it?

It more often than not seems like an invitation to press in for much more whether or not you have it to give, after all you extended the ‘hand of fellowship or openness or generosity’ first, why is it then so difficult to give more?

It’s a rat race now, working to make sure everyone else is satisfied, and while you’re drained, you’re glad (or is it relief you feel?) that everyone is now fine (or will at least not require any more from you momentarily 🤷🏽‍♀️), so, you mentally relive the hurdles you jumped over to make it all happen and you’re pleased (or surprised) that you could go that far to make I happen (or stretch that thin and not snap).

Now, when there’s someone who always looks out for you, who knowing who and how you are doesn’t require any of those ‘performances’ to love and approve of you, it can be a bit difficult to accept.

You’d usually return to default - trying to earn the love and approval even when they are asking you not to, calling you to pause and just enjoy them, enjoy being with them, enjoy resting in them and muting the voices that are now louder than your thoughts telling you you have to put the work in to sustain the love and moments.

It’s nothing we do that makes Jesus love and want us, it’s who He is. He’s chosen to love you and there’s nothing you can do make Him love you better or less. You can receive the love though, and know deep down inside that it’s okay to be loved and have so much value placed on you even when you don’t feel like you are valuable.

You should receive His love.

Romans 8:31-39 TPT